Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What, exactly does that mean? Well, to start with, who is the beholder? Let's assume it's you, for the sake of this blog. So, beholder, what is beauty to you? Is it a field of flowers? A stream running through a mountain crevasse? A 57 Chevy in Candy Apple Red? Anything that you think is beautiful, anything at all. Just let your mind go...imagine.
Now, let's turn to the human form. A manly form, muscles and broad shoulders? Slender hips and a great smile? Healthy, toned and tanned? Sexy, sweet and well dressed? I think we can all agree on at least one of those, right? How about women? Close your eyes, imagine... 5' 10"? long legs? Slender hips, perfect make-up... I can see her now... 115 lbs.? Oh yes... ribs and skin, no muscle tone at all... finger down her throat, laxatives in her system? The perfect model!
What? Not the finger down the throat? Not the laxatives? Does this reality make you uncomfortable? So, how do you think the girl feels? The one who requires this extreme, just to "make the grade"? The one who hears, constantly... your putting on a few pounds, your looking "chunky", or "are you pregnant"? Simple comments, sometimes innocent, sometimes hateful... always without compassion or caring. Strange huh? We are just coming around to the idea of muscular, healthy, strong spirited women. Women who work their bodies and eat well? Women who have REAL confidence. Confidence that comes from knowing that you can take care of yourself.
While some men may be intimidated by this, even angered by this blog. Are those the men you want your daughter to be with? Those men, who want to control, dictate to and demean women... in an effort to make themselves seem bigger, better or stronger? The men who will tell her (or you) what to do, how to act and what and where to work? Hold you back to prevent her/you surpassing their careers? I doubt that's your goal, but is it your future? Do you have the strength to take control? Be who you can be? Go where YOUR life allows you to go?
It's time... time to set the stage for the future, for women AND their mates. It's time to expect your man to accept you as a partner, equal in life. Not bully, not dictate, not expect dinner on the table, but plan life AND meals... together. Not judge your weight, your size or your style, but encourage each other to ALWAYS be the best that you can be. Together, as a team, with common goals and dreams. Can you see it? Can you do it? Will you accept less?
I want this for my own children. Not just the girls... all my children, boys and girls. I want my sons to love, like I do, with their hearts first. Let the eye see the person, not the "body", let the heart give freely, and welcome love in return. I want them to inspire, to motivate and drive their partner with kindness and encouragement, not threats and ultimatums. I want them to love and be loved.
I want my daughters to feel confidant, loved and appreciated. I want them to encourage, and motivate their partners too... it's a team effort and both need motivation and encouragement. I want them to be happy. Is that so bad? Is it so unimaginable? Yet it is so rare, so unlikely... so unexpected.
So where do we start? How do we change this mindset? Can we change nature? Is it nature that men try to dominate women? Is it society? We can change that... right? I don't have all the answers, but I do see all the problems. I see that women try to live up to unrealistic expectations? I see men who are out of shape, yet demand that their woman lose weight and wear makeup. I see women compete with girls, trying to look younger, sexier and skinnier... to "keep up".
How do we change it? Where do we begin? I started by letting my wife know that I love her. That I love HER, not her weight, her breasts, her butt... not her hair, her cooking, her smile... just her. The woman behind the face, the body and the smile. The woman I met and fell in love with. The woman I will help to become the best partner she can be, the person she wants to be and the happiest person I can help her to be. I am the beholder, and she is beautiful.
If we can all do that, we can change anything. Most importantly, we can be happy, together with someone we love! Let's start there! Who knows, we may start a new trend... let's hope.
L. Randy Smithhart
Human, Man, Husband, Father, Employer, Friend, Mentor, student of life and love...always.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
It's a Size Thing
It's a size thing...... WHY?
I am sick and tired of these anorexic looking "kids" like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and all those twigs being passed off as the only "desirable body" type. TO WHOM? I am not even slightly interested in that body type. How could a mature man look at those little girl bodies and get turned on? Nicole Ritchie and Mary-Kate Olsen look surprising like every 12 - 13 year old child (female) I've ever known, except for the drug and alcohol ravaged skin. I have seen healthy, mature, naturally thin women that I find attractive, but the key word is naturally. If you eat well and stay thin, fine. Let's get it straight here, if you don't eat well, you WILL NOT look good...period. If you are not healthy, you can't look healthy.
Who decided that Calvin Klein had it right, with Kate Moss and all those models like her (which he uses almost exclusively)? It's a joke. It is appealing to no one (that I know) and seems to target pedophiles. Our society tolerates this and even, to some extent, encourages it by buying their wares. We're beginning to recognize what's happening to us, but the damage is done, and at some point we need to be able to tell our children "hey it's OK to wear a size 10" or 12 or 14", who really cares? Since when is everyone cut from the same mold (or gene pool for that matter)? And this BMI crap, I'm 6' 0" tall and I weigh 180 or so. At recently I was 192.....now, that was 192 of solid muscle and very lean (rock climbing 3-4 days a wk) and yet, I was told that I was overweight....(you don't want to know what I said). Now if you saw me...well you would laugh about that, I am considered slender by most....I've heard skinny, but I am not overweight. It's crap!
Now, I do understand that even a little extra weight COULD be harmful to your health. I also recognize that our children may not eat as well as they should. We all should see, however, that anorexia and bulimia are on the rise. We should note that a large percentage of the children today have serious self esteem issues, mostly concerning perceived body flaws, fat being the number one concern. Adults are affected also, but it's the children who are most susceptible to these pressures. I, for one, am over it. I have seen young girls torture themselves to "make the weight", otherwise beautiful girls reduce themselves to skin and bones. I have friends whose children are literally killing themselves by purging daily, in fact several times a day. It's enough already, it has been for quite some time now.
I have not bought clothing, fragrances or anything I know comes from Calvin Klein. I will in the future, try my best to boycott any line of clothing that I believe promotes this unnatural body type and/or uses "women" like Kate Moss, who need to starve themselves or use drugs to keep their unhealthy bodies so ridiculously thin. If it's natural, I have no problem with it, if not...eat a doughnut.
I certainly hope this is taken as it is intended, as a positive statement to those who suffer each day, suffer because someone told them they were "thick" or "chunky" or just a little "heavy". It's time to speak up, it's time to let those people know "I like the way I look and I am happy with who I am...period". The body police should maybe get a clue...and while we're at it, let's just hit the "fashion police" too. Let everyone be who they want to be, not who some small group of people think they should be. I paint outside the lines....and I run with scissors, and I don't dress like everyone thinks I should... so sue me.
I have spent most of my adult life helping people look their best. I help everyone feel the best that they can with no preference given to "smaller" people. I believe that each person that I see (professionally), every day, deserves to be happy and feel as beautiful as I can make them feel.
I truly believe this, and I truly do my job that way, every client, every day. I find those who would attack another person for a perceived "imperfection" to be disgusting, even when it's disguised (she would be so pretty... if she'd just lose a few pounds). Judge not, lest you ...get ugly and lose your teeth.
L. Randy Smithhart
Human Being, Man and Lover of Beauty... in many forms.
I am sick and tired of these anorexic looking "kids" like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and all those twigs being passed off as the only "desirable body" type. TO WHOM? I am not even slightly interested in that body type. How could a mature man look at those little girl bodies and get turned on? Nicole Ritchie and Mary-Kate Olsen look surprising like every 12 - 13 year old child (female) I've ever known, except for the drug and alcohol ravaged skin. I have seen healthy, mature, naturally thin women that I find attractive, but the key word is naturally. If you eat well and stay thin, fine. Let's get it straight here, if you don't eat well, you WILL NOT look good...period. If you are not healthy, you can't look healthy.
Who decided that Calvin Klein had it right, with Kate Moss and all those models like her (which he uses almost exclusively)? It's a joke. It is appealing to no one (that I know) and seems to target pedophiles. Our society tolerates this and even, to some extent, encourages it by buying their wares. We're beginning to recognize what's happening to us, but the damage is done, and at some point we need to be able to tell our children "hey it's OK to wear a size 10" or 12 or 14", who really cares? Since when is everyone cut from the same mold (or gene pool for that matter)? And this BMI crap, I'm 6' 0" tall and I weigh 180 or so. At recently I was 192.....now, that was 192 of solid muscle and very lean (rock climbing 3-4 days a wk) and yet, I was told that I was overweight....(you don't want to know what I said). Now if you saw me...well you would laugh about that, I am considered slender by most....I've heard skinny, but I am not overweight. It's crap!
Now, I do understand that even a little extra weight COULD be harmful to your health. I also recognize that our children may not eat as well as they should. We all should see, however, that anorexia and bulimia are on the rise. We should note that a large percentage of the children today have serious self esteem issues, mostly concerning perceived body flaws, fat being the number one concern. Adults are affected also, but it's the children who are most susceptible to these pressures. I, for one, am over it. I have seen young girls torture themselves to "make the weight", otherwise beautiful girls reduce themselves to skin and bones. I have friends whose children are literally killing themselves by purging daily, in fact several times a day. It's enough already, it has been for quite some time now.
I have not bought clothing, fragrances or anything I know comes from Calvin Klein. I will in the future, try my best to boycott any line of clothing that I believe promotes this unnatural body type and/or uses "women" like Kate Moss, who need to starve themselves or use drugs to keep their unhealthy bodies so ridiculously thin. If it's natural, I have no problem with it, if not...eat a doughnut.
I certainly hope this is taken as it is intended, as a positive statement to those who suffer each day, suffer because someone told them they were "thick" or "chunky" or just a little "heavy". It's time to speak up, it's time to let those people know "I like the way I look and I am happy with who I am...period". The body police should maybe get a clue...and while we're at it, let's just hit the "fashion police" too. Let everyone be who they want to be, not who some small group of people think they should be. I paint outside the lines....and I run with scissors, and I don't dress like everyone thinks I should... so sue me.
I have spent most of my adult life helping people look their best. I help everyone feel the best that they can with no preference given to "smaller" people. I believe that each person that I see (professionally), every day, deserves to be happy and feel as beautiful as I can make them feel.
I truly believe this, and I truly do my job that way, every client, every day. I find those who would attack another person for a perceived "imperfection" to be disgusting, even when it's disguised (she would be so pretty... if she'd just lose a few pounds). Judge not, lest you ...get ugly and lose your teeth.
L. Randy Smithhart
Human Being, Man and Lover of Beauty... in many forms.
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